Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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