I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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