your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
