Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
