Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm eating all of the evidence.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
