All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
