Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
