It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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