The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
