Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
