so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
