Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
