If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
