So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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