Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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