and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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