No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
