u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
