It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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