i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
