i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
