Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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