FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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