he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
