She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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