Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just cropdusted the office
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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