you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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