I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
