Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
