So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
