Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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