Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
