It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
