brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
