Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
