five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
