What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
