Kiss
Puke
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
