Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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