I could make wine with my vomit
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
