There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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