grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
