**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
