i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
