Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
