yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
