Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
