"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
