Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
