I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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